My baby girl died 6/25/09 and I feel so alone?

My water broke at 20 weeks and I was on hospital bedrest for 4 weeks. I developed an infection and placental abruption and she was delivered by c section on 6/25/09. She was only 24 weeks. Emily Grace little lungs just didn't work. Now I am home on maternity leave without a baby. My milk came in and it just seemed like a cruel joke. Everyone seems to have just moved on and I just want to scream when I see my neighbors mowing their yards or people in stores laughing. I go back to work next Thursday at a pediatric office which I am dreading. I am afraid of my reaction to all of those healthy babies and pregnant women. I sleep with my little girls blanket every night and the teddy bear that was in her casket. I sit up at night crying in the bathroom alone. How do you let go of someone you love so much? She was perfect and it sounds weird but if something were wrong with her maybe it would be easier. She was perfect though and it was me that was the problem. My only job was to keep her inside and healthy and I failed. My body killed my little girl and I can't get over that. It doesnt matter what anyone says it's just hard to get past that.